Senior Prom is coming up, so our daughter is trying out a few new makeup tricks. One of them is a lipstick that is supposed to make your lips thicker, curvier, plumper, poutier and more attractive.

I thought it was all foolishness, though I admitted to her that my lips are too thin.

She instantly informed me of the new teenage nickname for that condition: “PAPER CUP LIPS”


So yes, I tried her stuff. Almost immediately, my lips started to tingle. What is IN this, fireworks? habanero? kryptonite? After a few minutes, I thought maybe my lips did grow, a molecule or two.

Afraid I may wake up tomorrow and have to go around with my lips on a crutch. Hopefully, not.