United Airlines: overbooked passenger gets bloodied and dragged off the plane unconscious.

Southwest Airlines: overbooked passenger gets a most lovely check for $975 and is delayed only three hours, during which time his little friends picked him up to go to a sports bar and watch Sweet Sixteen games.

The latter overbooked passenger was none other than my Beloved. We went to Phoenix over spring break but he was politely bumped at the Omaha airport. This meant that I was inconvenienced, too, because I went ahead on the flight and had to cool my heels for three hours at Sky Harbor ’til he could catch up.

But for $325 an hour, we were more than fine with it . . . it covered a few extras on our vacation and then some . . . and it was good PR for Southwest.

United, better fly some friendlier skies, y’hear?