Appalled at the coarsening of our society, I have been trying very hard not to cuss. Then I discovered the verbal fulfillment that can come only from finding a term with which to express deep emotions without violating anyone’s sense of propriety. That term was “bok choy.” It was an all-occasion expression, fun to say.


But I was getting a little tired of it. Then an elderly neighbor of my mom’s came walking by with her powderpuff puppy dog. That dog was apparently a friend of my mom’s equally useless but adorable bichon, Money. (She wanted to be the grandmother with Money . . . get it?)


Well, this nice lady was worried because her fluffy little canine friend had something called a “floating patella.”


A floating patella? When somebody tells you that you have that, it’s hard to know whether to hug ‘em or slug ‘em.


Actually, it’s a problem with a bone in the dog’s knee.


But now it has become my go-to expression to express my ire. “You cut me off in traffic, you . . . FLOATING PATELLA!!!”

By Susan Darst Williams • • Family Funnies • © 2017